you've got 100 legs but i'm still faster

and i caught you in a glass from tealuxe®

all you wanted was to live in my bathroom

but now you're lying wounded in the driveway

well i'm sorry

i didn't know your legs came off

i guess we both learned something this evening

but it was your fault

you came out of nowhere way too fast

it was all i could do not to piss on the floor

mr. centipede

i wish you all that you need

and i hope your legs grow back

but you and i are through

i'm more than done with you

good luck and godspeed

all lyrics © m. mcclenathan

this song is a true story. one of the apartments i had in providence was very cramped, and your arms basically touched the walls when you peed. this thing came out of nowhere and just stopped and stared at my arm and i nearly had a heart attack. so i caught him and threw him (minus a few legs) outside. it was rob's glass, but after he found out what i did he told me to keep it. i still have it. i wrote this song to make my erstwhile girlfriend laugh (which it did) because she was a champ for ever setting foot in that house with those things crawling around. this was the 2nd song i ever recorded and i had been encouraged by ladies and gentlemen so i really wanted to air it out and do something masturbatory. which is where rob's 7 minute piano solo comes from. but damn, he's good at piano, huh? also, if you're wondering what that crazy noise is during the "climax," it's a kazoo. and yes, i'm quite proud of that.

this song doesn't really belong on the record. it's too much fun. but since the inception of watched pots, it's always been said that the first record would be called "the centipede ep" and have this song on it. it didn't exactly happen that way, but i still couldn't totally welsh on the deal, so here it is.